About Me

This is the part of my website where I am supposed to tell you About Me. You would think that would be easy. It isn’t. But not because I don’t want to tell you. Or don’t like talking about myself. Lol.

It’s really just because the more I think about it, the more I realise that the Me who is writing these words, sitting here in my dressing gown at 2pm, is not the same Me as I was yesterday. Or even a few moments ago. Nor will I be exactly the same person who will put my fingers to the keys tomorrow. Hopefully earlier. And showered.

For you and I are constantly changing in response to what is going on, in and around us. Which is really, what this blog is about.

The B Side.

The flip side me. The Flip side of you.

The Me after 4 kids, 26 years of marriage, turning 50 and a side swipe career and life redirect that I didn’t see coming. Or at least, chose to ignore until it ran me over.

The Me, that I decided to fight for. And not give up on. The Me that has realised that I am not too old, and it is never too late, to do the things I love.

And the You, who perhaps might like to join me on that same adventure.

So it is likely that this About Me section will change a little too, as we venture on down the road. But to be fair, I can tell you this.

I was born in a small town in South West NSW, the eldest of two girls and two boys, blessed to have two of the best people as our parents. They are the best, not because they are perfect, but because they threw everything they had into being the best that they could be. For us, themselves and those around them. And they are still the best people. Regardless of what we and life have thrown at them. Or perhaps, because of that beautiful shit storm. Of course that may not be how they would describe it. But it is my blog.

Sorry Mum and Dad 🙂

And from these two best people, and the little village in which they raised my two best brothers, best sister and I, we learned kindness, compassion and resilience. Which doesn’t mean I am always these things. But it sure helps to know what they are and where to find them. And to remember that if I use them as a guide, surely I can’t go completely wrong.

We also learned that family, friends and community are the threads which not only hold us together, but are what we need to stitch us back up when we suddenly realise we are all but fallen apart. Even if that also involves a few pokes with a sharp needle.

I left that little village though twice.

Once when I was 18 and could not wait to be an independent Sydney city girl. I love that girl still, with her leg warmers, long perm and white high top sneakers. And no mobile phone. Thankfully perms were not in fact permanent. All in all, I marvel that she survived. ( Thanks everyone who helped with that, by the way).

Bernie in Sydney 1986 – Photo by Bernie Ryan

The second time I left was in 2005 with four kids in tow, ( of course I waited until they were all out of nappies) . This was when my beautiful husband and I decided to try raising a family in Australia’s capital city.

Turns out that was a lot more expensive than we thought. But also a lot more exciting. So I wouldn’t change a thing. Or I might not be here, writing to you.

But like many who love going ‘ Home’, I’m probably still most settled and peaceful when I return to the gum trees, still nights and long walks down the paddock. And Mum’s books, hugs and turned back bed spreads with a flower on the pillow.

And Dad’s big smiling G’ Day ! And lamb chops.

Home. Dad and Me – Photo by Bernie Ryan

And my childhood and family friends who, after all helped raise me. And I do so love them all.

And into the now, I love writing ( lucky !); singing ( yep, an EP is coming soon); promoting the things I love ( you’ll see them showing up here from time to time – no apologies ); chocolate; my husband; my four stunningly unique adult children and their fabulous partners and friends; our fur children Ninja, Jessie and Marty; margaritas; chocolate; my fantastic and eclectic network of friends; my large extended family; helping to run a difference making theatre company; chocolate; Mexican food ( despite it being very non gluten and dairy free 🙄); meditating ( when I remember to do it ); and working out to eighties music and love songs ( go figure ).

And chocolate.

Thanks for hanging out with me here.

I’ll do my best to share the things that have kept me alive ’till now and the things that challenge me to keep going and not give up, ( because yes, that thought is still a thing in the life of Bernie ).

I hope that you will laugh along with me as I bumble my way through, and above all, I hope that somewhere in here, you might feel inclined to dust off the play list for your own B Side.

Because it is never, ever, too late, and you are never, ever, too old, to reinvent yourself.

Or rather, to start listening to the hits that have always been there, and begin dancing to them.